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How to relax
Has someone ever told you to “just relax” when you’re in the middle of a stressful situation, and you thought to yourself, “Well, that’s easy for you to say!”

Relaxation actually isn’t easy (and doesn’t come naturally) for many of us. It’s hard not to get caught up in worry during our fast-paced, time-crunched days, whether from work deadlines, financial worries, or feeling like we don’t have enough quality time for family and friends — or for ourselves and our favorite activities.

Even on vacation, have you noticed that it can take a few days to unwind? Learning how to relax is a little like learning meditation — or taking a vacation, for that matter: we can’t just do it once or twice a year and expect it to work miracles! To get better at relaxation takes practice. Luckily, there are a number of easily accessible relaxation techniques and strategies to help us consciously relax the body and mind on a regular basis.

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What are relaxation techniques?

A stressful situation, or one that we perceive to be stressful, triggers the release of hormones that make our hearts pound, our breath quicken, and our muscles tense. These are normal physiological reactions, known as the “fight or flight” response, and they evolved so our ancestors could stay alert to threats such as ferocious grizzly bears or un-neighborly, club-wielding cave dwellers.

Unfortunately, when this surge of hormones happens in response to our many modern-day stressors, it can take a toll on the body and mind, and put us at risk for health problems such as heart disease, insomnia, and depression.

There are some scientifically proven relaxation techniques that counter the stress response with what’s called—not surprisingly—the “relaxation response,” in which our bodies stop releasing stress hormones, our heart rate slows, our breathing deepens, and we begin to feel a sense of calm (what a relief!). Some techniques, like deep breathing and relaxation meditation, are available to us pretty much anywhere and anytime we need it. Others, like spending time in nature, doing yoga or qigong, or even getting a massage, may take a little more planning.

The idea is to begin incorporating relaxation skills and activities that promote calm and well-being into your daily life. Try a few out and see which ones work best for you.

Deep breathing

When we’re anxious our breathing tends to be shallow and rapid. One of the simplest ways to relax is to take some deep diaphragmatic breaths, also called belly breathing. By shifting our breathing rate and pattern we can stimulate the body’s parasympathetic nervous system, and trigger a calming response, which decreases our heart rate, blood pressure, and muscle tension.

Here’s how to practice deep breathing:

Sit comfortably in a chair with your feet on the floor or lie down. Place one hand on your stomach, and the other hand over your heart.
Inhale slowly through your nose until you feel your stomach rise
Hold your breath for a count to three
Exhale slowly, feeling your stomach fall
Variations of this technique may have you hold your breath for several counts after the inhale, or breathe out for a count of 5 or 7, for example. The idea, no matter how long you hold it, is to slow down the pace of the breath. The effect of breathwork is cumulative, meaning the more you do it the better it works, so practice it every day, even when you’re not stressed.

Meditation for relaxation

Relaxation meditation, which typically involves cultivating calm by using an object of focus such as your breath or a visualization, is a proven tool to help manage and ease stress. And we have proof that it works! A 2018 study found that people who used Headspace for just 10 days reported an 11% decrease in stress; and after 30 days of using Headspace, they reported a 32% decrease in stress. Regular practice makes it easier to condition our bodies to find bala